Kompromat! Yours truly has been outed as a Russian Spy by Louise Mensch. Elevated to that most coveted of prizes in contemporary Internet political discourse where people who disagree with you to the extent that demands only the very best.

Not content with any mere ‘Russian bot’ slur, the status of full blown ‘Russian Spy’ must be conferred only by the innermost circle of intelligence community operatives. I speak of none other than Louise Mensch, a former UK MP, a blue tick Twitter verified endorsed personality and part-time Walter Mitty spook.

It should go without saying that I am not a Russian Spy nor a Russian bot. I have never been to Russia, ever.

I have, however, had copious amounts of Vodka and Coca-Cola from time to time: ‘Détente in a glass’. In this age of anti-Russia hysteria that probably is enough to make you a Russian spy in that left-wing rag The Guardian. However Mad Mensch could not possibly know about my drinking habits unless her pals at GCHQ have been filling her in.

Exactly one week to the date of this post, I was in my favourite local Italian restaurant for dinner when my smartphone lit up with a stream of tweets from Menschy. The tweets accused me, inter alia, of being a “Russian Spy” and a “Russian Asset”.

It’s hard not to see the funny side of this, I know of at least one longtime follower and friend who had to spend the next two days in a hyperbaric chamber at elevated pressure due to lack of oxygen from laughter. I myself laughed out loud at the simultaneously absurd and unhinged nature of the tweets. I thought nevertheless a gracious response (at least at first) seemed appropriate:

Her next response evidences some back pedalling, perhaps sensing that her initial claims were a little wide of the mark:

I laughed for two days straight after. This woman was once an elected conservative MP and by all appearances was taken seriously. Many have said that she did ‘hard drugs’ in her youth and this messed up her mind later in life: I don’t doubt it.

Russian Spy DUDE

In the following week I was on a business trip to Finland. I challenged her again on her tweets. Her response was to block me and copy in the UK’s hard-drive whores, the listening post GCHQ:

Notice the use of the American term “Dude”. Yes, I am your everyday, happy go lucky, Russian Spy… DUDE.

In DM to me, a longtime twitter friend summed the drama up well:

It’s medication time

I ignored previous warnings from many others that Louise Mensch was batshit and out of control. Spraying around unfounded allegations about innocent people being Russian spies makes her look like a complete fool and has now finally convinced me they were right.

Photo Credit: Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”

Louise Mensch is a sad Walter Mitty figure surrounded by trolls and in all probablity real Intel operatives are feeding her Russian conspiracy theory guff. I am intrigued how she was ever taken seriously enough to be selected as an MP candidate, but given the state of today’s paranoid looney MPs, none of this really surprises me.♦